Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
