You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
