Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
