last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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