win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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