Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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