Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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