i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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