i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.Â
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
