normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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