isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
