Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
