so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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