even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just high enough for therapy.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
