what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
