Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
