You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
