He is such a slut. More and more my type.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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