my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
be right there i have to get my cape
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Oh god it's open bar.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
