the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
