everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I don't deserve a penis
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize