So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
