Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
