I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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