He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We talked him into tasing himself.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
