I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
