I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
