Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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