You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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