Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
