I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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