A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I have post one night stand depression
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
