Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
