what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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