I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
