Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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