i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
