There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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