I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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