Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
