sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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