I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
