Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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