I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He had one of those small greek statue penises
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just googled if crying burns calories
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
