its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
