he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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