Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize