she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
