could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
