I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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