how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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