You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
