Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
