just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
