The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
