Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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