so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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