i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize