Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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