sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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