I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's blow job season.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
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