My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
