Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize