so that wasnt chicken after all
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize