Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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