put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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