Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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