We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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