Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
