I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
