Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
