the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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